Etiquette in Germany

[maplegirl]

I am sometimes a bit concerned I am coming across as rude in everyday life in Germany.  For instance, when cyclists ring their bell from behind me, should I just ignore them, or stop and let them past, even if I am walking in a pedestrian area on the right hand side.  That is just an example.
I think allatsea mentioned some book about etiquette but I have not bought it and I am not sure it will mention the smaller more annoying things anyway.

Here are some of my concerns.

• Is it OK to blow your nose on a tissue and then put it in your pocket?
• Can you blow your nose whilst eating at a dinner table in a friends house or at a restaurant?
• Is it rude to ask someone not to overtake you in a queue or should I just do as the Germans do and avoid queuing at all?
• How do I greet people - with a handshale or a kiss?
• Is it OK to smile at strangers or will they think I am mad?

[Brandon]

Not sure on the nose blowing one, I'll leave that to other experts in snotology.

With Germans I think you need to be quite forceful and do things that seem to me (as a Brit) a bit rude. They do seem to respect you more if you stand up for yourself and treat you with more respect there after. So in queues and things I think you need to stand your ground.

I've yet to been kissed as a greeting here, so either the handshake is more appropriate, or it's just me...

Smiling at people is always a nice thing to do.

[TalkMunichAdmin]

Smiling is nice, but I wonder if it is more a UK/Ireland thing.  I think in Russia if a person is seen walking down the street smiling they are considered slightly mad.  In Germany people do stare but rarely does that stare give way to a warm smile once the stare is reciprocated.  Just a cultural thing.

[Laneris]

It is well noticed about Russians, they do not smile much. It is not because they are rude or depressed but just a cultural difference.

[Brandon]

I thought the Russians didn't smile because a generation ago anyone who smiled in public was considered to be 'up to something' by the NKVD and promptly sent to Siberia for ever more. Looking miserable in public was a necessary survival trait.

[Maker]

Going back to Germans: about blowing nose it seem to be true.
To blow your nose on a tissue and then put it in your pocket -this could be from two reasons. Either because of love to environment  or in order to save up money or both.
To blow your nose whilst eating at a dinner table in a friends house or at a restaurant is also ok in Germany. To my mind it is because in Germany everything that is natural cannot be shameful.

[Laneris]

I find smiling is fine. No matter where you are a nice smile will work like an ice-breaker and increase your attraction for people.

[KingCape]

What is the law here with regards to urinating in public.  I was out over the weekend and saw two different guys relieving themselves in the park in full view of everyone. Is this normal and is it legal?

[Starshollow]

actually it is not, it is called "wildes biesln/piesln" and always a huge topic during the Octoberfest. Police will give you a ticket/fine if they see you doing it...

[TalkMunichAdmin]

I am not sure what to think of this. It is rightly a bit offensive to see some guy exposing himself in the park when he makes his toilet in full view of children.  On the other hand, I think Germans seem to have it right with regard to nudity and natural acts.  If you are in the park relaxing with mates, having a drink and a BBQ, then where on earth do you go to the toilet?  Should you 'bust a gut' (Irish/British colloquialism) holding it in till you get home 3 hours later?
I think, it is OK, as long as you are discrete and do it out of the way in a normally inaccessible area away from where people may walk or see you.  Also, just because you are in nature doesn't mean you should not wash your hands. 
On saying that, it is not something I would ever do, as you are never too far away from a public convenience.  I think it is mostly, as Starshollow implied, drunken men who are the biggest culprits.

[rnc]

Is it OK to blow your nose on a tissue and then put it in your pocket?

• Sure, if no trashcan is available. Never seen it done different. You can keep in mind that the old people have cloth tissues they use over and over again - washing it daily, of course.

Can you blow your nose whilst eating at a dinner table in a friends house or at a restaurant?

• Sure, a little "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me" - "Entschuldigung" won't be false. Everyone will asure you it's ok.
  Maybe not too loud and often in the restaurant.

Is it rude to ask someone not to overtake you in a queue or should I just do as the Germans do and avoid queuing at all?

• Hmm, don't know if i get this right. If you are standing in a line and someone ignores you and all behind you in the queue - you should give him an:"Hey mister, to the end of the line before i get angry".
  The concept of building one "main queue" is not known to most germans, so do as they do. Choose the one you think is fastest. ( And get angry at yourself for choosing the slowest )

How do I greet people - with a handshale or a kiss?

• Depends on How old you are and who you want to greet.
  Kissing - 14 or so year old girls each other.
  Kissing - your boyfriend/lover/husband.
  Handshake - Always on first introduction and when you only meet someone once in a while. Be sure to look them into the eyes.
  friends you see everyday - A "Hi" should do it or a hug if you are good friends.

Is it OK to smile at strangers or will they think I am mad?

• A smile is always welcome.

[TalkMunichAdmin]

Hi rnc,
thanks for the detailed post.
I am really curious what rnc stands for, is it a secret?  You do not have to say, or you can only tell me via PM (personal message - just click on my name and you will find a link to PM me).

You hit the nail on the head when you wrote "Choose the one you think is fastest. ( And get angry at yourself for choosing the slowest  )".  I always pick the wrong queue and kick myself for it every time.  It just seems inconceivable that I always choose the slowest queue, but alas, it is true. I wonder how much of our lives is 'wasted' in queues.

If you wish to, you are welcome to introduce yourself on this thread.  Just start a new topic and let us know something about you.  Only do so if you feel comfortable though.

Great first post, I hope we get a lot more members like you.
TM Admin

[KingCape]

Glad the kissing thing is not normal here when meeting people.  I always feel a little uncomfortable kissing people I hardly even know.  It just gets really embarassing when they try to just their tongue.  At a wedding once, this old lady tried to kiss me... I won't go into details, but I still have nightmares about it 

[rnc]

I think you will find these old ladies everywhere. Normally they choose little boys from relatives at weddings or big family meetings to cuddle and kiss them. Had my share of them, too. 
This stops when you are big enough to say NO and mean it.

@TM A
Thanks for the warm welcome.
I think they actually wrote books about how to choose the right queue to stand in. Never worked for me. Some old lady always pays with one cent coins right in front of me. What lightens you up is the look the cashier gives you: "I know you have to wait, but you are out here in 10 Minutes and i am not for another 5 hours and this old lady is only the fifth person today that is totally surprised about the fact that she have to pay here and has to search for her purse..." 

About "wildes piseln" you and Starshollow are right. You will get a ticket. Its rude/offensive if you do it in front of other people and "it is OK, as long as you are discrete and do it out of the way in a normally inaccessible area away from where people may walk or see you."

[TalkMunichAdmin]

Regarding "wildes piseln", the part of this that worries me is the trend of governments to encroach more and more into our lives.  In this case, it is right to be outlawed.  Yet, does someone deserve to be arrested if they find themselves in desperate need to use the toilet whilst in the middle of a forest? I don't know.  Personally, it is something I don't like and not very classy.

By the way, I liked your comment "this old lady is only the fifth person today that is totally surprised about the fact that she have to pay here"... it had me laughing.  It is hard to be angry with these little old ladies.